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Post by Die Hard Trojan Von Nut on Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:00 pm

It's late afternoon and i get a call from my friend, sam. He's invited me over to play his new xbox one. im not exactly thrilled, i just want to go and get stoned. So i say "sure, i'll be right over."
I take pause a moment and consider everything i've heard about this new console... Before leaving the house, i root through my dresser until i find what im looking for and slip it into my pocket.

Sam is sitting on the porch, "good" i thought, that makes the next step a little easier.
I wave to him, he holds up his pipe, ready for me. I take a seat next to him and ask where the game is. "Living room, duh" he responds. great. i have time.

We get stoned and i put on the ski mask.
He stares at me like i just fell off of the moon and landed on his porch.
"The fuck? that's the stupidest-" as he reached for my face. i recoiled. "C'mon ,no one needs to watch me play videogames who isnt playing with me. you know what it is.

He laughed at himself "yeah whatever, you've got the weedanoia going on dude." I laugh back "yeah. oh, yeah."

We go in and start her up. one of the shooter games he loves to play. a rare co-op. i hate fighting my friends after all, but he loves competition. so he's already trying to get more kills than me before the game is on.

We get bored of the stupid A.I. and agree to go head to head. we're having a blast, me in spite of myself, happy to the challenge now, jaded from bad interactions with the computer, him to prove himself or something.

An hour in, slamming on the door, my friend goes to answer it. "On the floor, now!"

What the fuck? i turn around to "TAKE THE MASK OFF, NOW!" and guns cocking. oh fuck... what has gotten into the world?

So i sit there, staring down the barrel of a shotgun, an assault riffle, and a few pistols. "TAKE IT OFF! NOW!!"

I held back a smile, not that they could see it.

"Take yours off first." i said, calmly, in spite of the adrenaline and 500 beats per second my heart was doing.

The shotgun motioned for one of the pistols to approach me. Clad in S.W.A.T. uniform, helmet and all.

With one hand, the man steadied the pistol, trained on my head, and with the other, grabbed a pair of handcuffs.

"PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD." he said sternly, almost a shout, but not quite. i remained motionless and began to smile.

He repeated his terrorist demand and i laughed. it threw him over the edge, and he grabbed at my arm violently, to adhere the handcuffs.

I started laughing harder, Buddha caliber belly laughs. Rotated my arm around till i was bent over and exchanged the handcuffs from his grasp, latched them on to his gun arm and dove to the floor, sliding to the party.

I stood up as fast i could, clinging to the other end of the cuffs with all my might, wondering if i broke the other man's arm, as i jumped into the shotgun weilding snot-team mate, forcing everyone to have no choice but to shoot their own men if they tried to pull their triggers. It was a dog pile, everyone on top of me. I was still laughing. laughing so hard... the only thing i could do to compensate for the fear they installed with their terrorist tactics and stay focused and competent.

I'd latched the other end of the cuffs to the ankle of the shotgun weilder, I straddled the shotty man's helmet between my knees, even though i couldnt see and was pinned down on him by the other 3, but i fiddled with the latch and took his helmet off and pinned his neck with my knees, trying to slip my feet behind his head and cross my legs.

They cuffed me and tried to lift me off him to no avail. "You're going to have to act like civilized Americans if you want my compliance. This is just self defense, assholes." i said, still laughing.

I noticed the cuffed pistol man had grabbed my friend and pulled him down to the floor, pinning his gun to his temple. The adrenals surged more, but i didnt act. just stared at him, incredulous.

"Gonna kill my friend? what's that going to accomplish?" i asked, plainly, the laughter had stopped abruptly. The assault riffle was pinned to MY head now.

Suddenly, police sirens were whooping all around us. The S.W.A.T. team looked panicked, my plan had apparently worked. "Look in my pocket, asshole." i said to the assault riffle, literally looking at IT and not the man holding it.

When i heard the front door slamming knocks, i dialed 911 and slipped my cell in my pocket. very quick, very simple. My constitutional rights were being attacked, so why not? See what side the police are REALLY on....

albino cheers bom lol! Twisted Evil
Die Hard Trojan Von Nut
Die Hard Trojan Von Nut

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